Not-So-Firm Casuals

  Lars Frederiksen seems intent on undergoing as many identity changes in his music career as possible and pretty soon will be edging out David Bowie, Madonna and Marilyn Manson- unless of course he sticks to this brand new, oh- so engaging, not-in-anyway-bandwagon- orientated fad. The Old Firm Casuals might be the worst idea the man has ever had. It's been embarrassing enough in Great Britain watching every other teenage punk fan transform into skinheads or casuals with lexicons to match in the wake of films such as This Is England, Football Factory and The Firm- let alone a grown man from California.
  What makes this outfit so terrible isn't just the inane attempt to be a part of a social phenomenon which necessitates a little more than buying the right outfit; it's the fact that the lyrics are so unashamedly thug-by-numbers and could have been ripped  straight from some nauseating "film" such as Green Street. Screaming about wearing designer clothes and breaking peoples noses as though you're part of a firm is completely devoid of creativity, wit, intelligence or depth of any sort. It does nothing but pander to a contingent of society of which Lars and co. are most certainly NOT a part. If you're going to scream this loudly about being a casual, you clearly aren't a casual- you just really really really want to be one PLEASE! It really does remind you of that kid in school who used to bullshit his way to the in- crowd by buying the same trainers and speaking the same way as everyone else. Pathetic.
  When Lars has finished deciding whether he's a punk rocker, skinhead, biker or casual maybe he'll produce some decent music again. For now, we have this flimsy nonsense to avoid and their slack jawed fans who for some reason can't see the ludicrous nature of this endeavour. Thank god for the artistic genius who decided to base the logo on that of famous clothing brand Lonsdale. As though we didn't get the fucking message, Lars. Burberry help us.

'Ard as Naiws, son