SLIMY CUNT & THE FIST FUCKS "Bastards" Review

I’d intended to avoid talking about the name in order to set me apart from everyone else who listens to it and not give the band the odd satisfaction of reaction! However, it’s utterly impossible so here goes; Slimy Cunt & The Fist Fucks’ visceral and putrid moniker perfectly pre- empts the bitter fury they unleash on the listener. Chainsaw guitars and guttural vocals characterise this bands’ sound and they sound as Belligerent 86 were they to overnight formulate an all-together more pessimistic world view which postulates the conviction that everyone and everything is completely doomed.

What’s nice about Slimy Cunt & The Fist Fucks (a phrase I never thought I’d write) is that whilst harbouring all the apocalyptic menace of 80s British Hardcore, they don’t lose themselves in an introverted eschatological mess. Rather, they redirect this fury into a harder and more vital sound, chop the standard length song in half, and leave the listener recovering from their bile covered rebellion.

Each track is as stand- out as the next and I’d recommend this to pretty much anybody across the board of the Punk Rock community. Although perhaps a more specific recommendation would be directed at Skinheads who like their Street Punk extreme and borrowing from only the finest elements of Hardcore, UK82 and general fucking fury. Seriously. Obtain this abomination.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT HEROES "Wednesday Night Heroes/ For The Worse Split EP" Review

Wednesday Nights Heroes’ contribution to this split EP comprises two tracks, the first of which, “No Control” is a fantastically frenzied convulsion of Hardcore that stands apart in today’s scene. A far cry from Boston contemporaries like Blood For Blood, Wednesday Night Heroes have a more minimal and raw sound and it’s refreshing to hear an old school sound making itself heard as opposed to the more modern metal influenced Hardcore we  often hear. Their cover of Zero Boys’ “Civilization’s Dying” is less riveting but just as well executed. I would have preferred to hear another original track on the album as this group have an undeniable talent for song writing, but it’s nice to hear them pay homage to a more established band, and the cover is characterised by a simple and seasoned professionalism.

 This band clearly know what they’re doing, and they’re on to a good thing. I’d highly recommend this for any fans of Hardcore groups from Negative Approach to Bad Religion. They’ll please pretty much anyone with sense.

RAWHIDE "Branded For Life" Review

Boston’s Rawhide begin this 4- track with one and a half minutes of masturbatory twiddling that builds up to a rather mediocre and disappointing crescendo. The vocals have the upper hand in terms of execution, and will no doubt remind the listener of New York heavy weights Madball, whilst the guitar, drums and bass amass to a pale reflection of said Hardcore kings with a few painful and arbitrary solos thrown in for good measure.

                Title track “Branded For Life” begins more promisingly, with a high energy drum march and some guitar screeches that are on the right side of heavy metal. Just. An altogether tighter track, the execution is almost flawless, but even at their peak you can’t help feel that there’s something missing. It may be a result of production, as it is evident that success might await this group if their sound was beefed up considerably. However they should too ditch the aforementioned nonsense and have something more tangible to say.

 “Through My Eyes” is more to my taste and boasts a classic Rock ‘n’ Roll sound given a kick in the teeth courtesy of Punk Rock. Definitely one of the strongest tracks on the EP, it should probably have been cut a little shorter and had less of a dragging chorus. “Sanitarium Blues” is a more ballsy effort and rips the tone wide open with an ode to the misery of sanitariums! This song is where the band come into their own with a sort of 21^st century Johnny Cash meets clinically insane Skinhead feel, if you know what I mean… The result is Incredibly entertaining, simple and most of all effective. There is of course yet another solo but it is greeted with far less resentment as it adds a bluesy quality to the track and contributes to the overall sound as opposed to simply adding a show of skill. Unfortunately, this album is over all a pretty poor effort and nothing to scream about, but if Rawhide released an album of tracks similar to “Sanitarium Blues” I’d be the first in line to grab a copy. 

SHARK SKIN'S Omar Interviewed!

Omar, vocalist for Shark Skin

BBM: How and when did Shark Skin form?

Omar: The band wasn’t really a band when it started; it was a one man project in around mid- 2009.  I was always into making music but never really had the chance or the time to start a band because at that time I worked 12 hour night shifts every day and I worked weekends, so I wouldn’t have been able to play weekends cause I’d be at work and couldn’t practice with an actual band ‘cause I worked nights and would get out at 6am and sleep during the day ha ha! I still kept writing songs and making riffs, so I decided to just record 2 songs (“No One” and “You don’t know” – the instruments were played by one person) and those two songs were recorded in December 2009 (which I guess you can say is when Shark Skin was Born). I put it online on Myspace, and I actually got good feedback! I was really excited and blushed like a little girl on the nice comments people left ha ha. So I decided to go all out after that and tried forming a band that can play live shows.  With my friend Bryant who helped play Bass on the songs “Oi the fever” and “Warrior” and my friend Adrian aka Yogie who got on drums we started playing backyard gigs and little bars.  Later, Dennis and Ismael got in and featured in the second demo and also played live shows with me and Yogie.

BBM: Why the name Shark Skin?

Omar: Because we like looking cute.  Nah, I wanted to have a name that when people read it Skinhead come to mind, just like when you see Dr. Martens or braces or Harringtons or Crombies you think of Skinheads.  Shark skin suits, that we would wear at Reggae all- nighters, looking hard and smart. Music, Girls and Clothes is what we like "left, right, go take a hike"!

BBM: Which bands inspired you?

Omar: I’m going to start off with the bands I was listening to a few minutes ago: Subculture, The Templars, The Herberts, Slade, Camera Silens, The Undertones, Bilbo Baggins, Los Rockin Devils, Rose Tattoo, Infa Riot, Last Resort, Los Panchos, Combat 84, Bovver Wonderland, The Betrayed, Chapter 21, The Crack, The Sweet, Cockney Rejects, The Franks, Buzzcocks, Eddie and the Hot Rods, The Veros, Hot Rod All Stars!

BBM: How would you describe your music?

Omar: 100% working class skinhead rock.

BBM: How do you feel about the modern Oi! scene?

Omar: It sucks! For us especially, it seems like Oi! is for OLD PEOPLE now 30 and up!  All the new bands getting stuff released by labels are older kats.  When we started as a live band I was only 21 or 22 and Yogie was the youngest at 17 and not too sound cocky or all bad ass but we felt that we had our stuff together and had a pretty old school sound but since we are young, labels and promoters just saw us as kids.  But all the early Oi! bands were kids but that doesn’t seem to matter anymore.  A lot of new young bands don’t really get the chance to shine because promoters keep recycling the same Oi! bands at their shows.  Just being real.

BBM: What do you have in mind when writing music?

Omar: Faith in God, working class and Skinhead.  No politics, no racism.  It’s what we’re about. We’re going through some hard times in our homes, but we gotta keep on pushing and never give up.

BBM: You seem to do very well at championing the Lo- Fi sound of Oi! music. Was this intentional or merely because you couldn't afford more lavish recording equipment?

Omar: Yeah man, we love that Lo- Fi sound, it makes us go crazy! All the bands we listen to have that sound. 3 mics in little rooms is what we’re about ha ha, and there’re always good stories to tell after the recordings.  A big studio doesn’t have that attitude and we would probably be too scared to touch anything ‘cause if we break it, there goes our week’s check. Ha ha.  Also credit goes to our friend Dennis for helping us out with the recordings. 

BBM: What can we expect from Shark Skin in the next year?

Omar: We’re planning on releasing our first Single.  That’s what we’re focusing on right now actually- we’re excited about it.  Keep an eye out.

BBM: Have you any plans to tour soon? If so where?

Omar: We are down to tour anywhere, we just don’t know people ha ha.  Hit us up!

BBM: How can we find out more about you and where can we hear you?

Omar: You can check out our Facebook at www.facebook.com/sharkskin09 or email us at sharkskin09@gmail.com

Thanks to Omar from Shark Skin!

SHARK SKIN "Demo 2010" Review

There’s nothing I enjoy more than discovering another band doing Oi! properly. Simple, honest, sincere and most importantly, Lo- Fi; Shark Skin’s 2010 Demo comprises four tracks of Skinhead glory marching steadily out of your speakers.

Opener “Oi! The Fever” has the chainsaw guitar sound created by the first wave of Street Punk down to perfection, the bass is prominent and ballsy, and the drums provide a simple punching tempo for the vocals to strain and chant over. Lyrically and musically, this track communicates and establishes its conviction that “Oi! is here to stay” with a clarity managed by few. “Warrior” introduces itself with a Blitz- like bass line and culminates in a resilient vitality made audible, acting as an anthem of resistance against any outside oppression against the “Warrior”, who may be seen to represent Skinheads worldwide. “No One”, the third demo track is similar in anthemic quality and promotes the “hard and smart” ethos of the Skinhead subculture, and “You Don’t Know” is a slower, more measured and reflective track rife with working class sensibility and grace.

My only concern with Shark Skin is that they will lose their primitive sound should they encounter more success and have bigger budgets at their disposal. However, even if they were to up the ante on production- it’s near impossible to polish and refine this kind of brutality. Good work, lads.

REVILERS "Revilers" Album Review!

Boston’s Revilers seem to occupy an awkward middle- ground between Hardcore and Street Punk and upon first hearing this self- titled LP, I couldn’t help but feel they could do with a swift kick towards the more suited of the two directions. It’s difficult, too, to know how to feel about the inclusion of what are frankly indulgent guitar solos and instrumental breaks, which serve only to lengthen the songs and in the case of opener “No Bullshit Reactor” briefly threaten the momentum of the track.

However, once you have grown accustomed to the band’s sound, aside from the occasional clichéd guitar or bass lick, this is in parts host to some strong original material. The track that stands out the most has to be “Sick of being sick and tired” which hovers somewhere in the void between Sheer Terror and Naked Raygun and prompts a tribal sing-a-long characterised by unity through despair. The lyrics are penetratingly tangible and the music is suitably simple. “Quit my job” is impressive too and demonstrates the might of Hardcore chant- led choruses and has tones of a less guttural Blood For Blood. Other highlights include the Cro- Mag like “Negativity” and “End of the road”.

There isn’t necessarily a poor track on this album, but more disruptive components in the music. If the arbitrary occasional bass gallops and guitar licks were taken away and one or two solos cut in half, we’d have pretty much a perfect record. The juvenile sentiments of “No Bullshit Reactor” don’t help much either, and occasionally it sounds as though the guitarist is playing a somewhat dated interpretation of Punk Rock (a boot up the arse and it would sound more akin to the relentless onslaught of noise the legendary Bonecrusher offer us). The two things I definitely wouldn’t change are the drums and vocals, which are- for want of a more eloquent summary- bang on. If Revilers carry on like this and become more cogent in their execution, we could well have a legendary Punk Rock outfit on our hands. In the meantime, it’s a pleasure to hear their work.

WELLINGTON ARMS "Demos from 2008- 2011" Album Review!

Wellington Arms are the latest in a rich tradition of Skinhead bands (including The Templars) championing lo- fi music and returning Oi! to its street- level R’n’R roots. This assortment of demos is the first I’ve heard of Wellington Arms and it’s enough to convince me that they’re worth keeping an eye on. Their sound is pure, honest, erratic and fresh: A nice step ahead of the more stagnant sounds of ridiculous outfits like The Old Firm Casuals.

It’s difficult to pause to pick a stand- out track as each one is similar in its basic lyrical content and frantic execution, but there are gems to speak of nonetheless. “International Lover”- a lurid tale of love triangles perpetrated world- wide and “Valencia” offer probably the most enthralling and original material, and it’s on these tracks that the band make their mark most evident. However, “Living in America” is just as interesting and far more tangible in its socio- economic critique from a working class Skinhead perspective and effortlessly encapsulates the frustrations of trying to make a living in America.  The lyrics are brilliantly accessible on this track too, this is perhaps best demonstrated in the opening lyric “I’ve got no job, I’m fucking broke, I’m sitting here like a fucking joke, I’ve got no skills, no skills none at all, unless it’s violence and alcohol”. There is something of an illiterate eloquence and charm in this band’s words.  

Each track on this collection feels somewhat effortless and un-forced, organic if you will and as such there isn’t a shit song to slate, just a collection of refreshing new Oi! for any Skinheads out there to get their teeth into! Keep an eye on these lads; they’re kicking and screaming and it doesn’t sound like they’re slowing down!

WELLINGTON ARMS' Eric Wellington Interviewed!

BBM: Who are Wellington Arms? How did you form?

Eric Wellington: I’ve done a few interviews on how the original line-up started so I'd like to get into detail about how the newer line-up formed because these band mates will have more of an impact then the originals. The current line-up is Nate Woodell on Drums, Paul S on Lead guitar, and Kev M on Bass. Me and Nate have been friends for a decade or so and Paul and Kev go far back as well so it works out great with chemistry as a band because after I teach Paul how to play a song properly he’ll teach Kev the song then me and Nate will work on the drums parts. All three band members showed interest in playing as the Arms because of the energy and lack of it in their previous bands- and I think they worked out perfect because they really want to make a difference. The line-up before that that was featured on the "Valencia" demo was Eric Marie on Drum,s and Blake Wilson on Bass guitar. They are both good friends of mine and musicians, but they both live in separate cities for schooling so they are just stand- ins at the moment.

BBM: What’s behind the name Wellington Arms?

EW: The original bassist Rick Ivan came up with the name, but at the time I really didn't care for it because it sounded too British! The more I thought about it the more it made sense to me because everybody that I knew that was part of "street culture" lived off Wellington Avenue which was weird because it isn't a main street here in Chicago. So I figured since we were all in "arms- reach" of each-other it made sense- especially in case some violence went down because we would be close enough to get the word out and get something done.

BBM: How would you describe your sound?

EW: I certainly shoot for energy when I write these songs, however as far as sound goes I really just let the music present itself because I really don't try to sound like any other band. Most musicians tend to base their music off of another band’s sound which I don’t and I think it helps when it comes to song writing because most musicians can't write a song for the life of them whereas I can because I don't compare my bass or guitar riff to that of another band’s song. I try not to learn other peoples’ songs or take any lessons so I'm not distracted. If I cover a song I tend to do so because it's feels natural to do so as if that song was my own.

BBM: Which bands have influenced you most?

EW: I may not try to learn other bands songs but I'm sure influenced by them. My favourite bands at the moment are Pink Turns Blue, Iron Maiden, Brutal Attack, Skrewdriver, Bruce Springsteen, Ted Nugent, and The Chameleons. Also the “Bloodstains Across Australia” compilation.

BBM: What can we expect from Wellington Arms in the next 12 months?

EW: Wellington Arms will be in the studio for a full length album during this next month for sure and if all goes well we’ll work on a second full length album soon afterwards because we have the material to do so. As far as gigs go... we just played a gig a few weeks ago to kick things off and were lined up in the Chicago area for two more gigs in April. We also might hit up Florida over the summer if it is set up. Time will tell…

BBM: Are there any plans to tour? If so where?

EW: A tour right now may be out of the question but that may change if we see results after this first album is released.

BBM: You mention on your Myspace a cover you once did of Skrewdriver's "9-5". Have you ever come under fire for this and if so does it bother you?

EW: Oh yeah all the time- but I understand politics from the far- left to the far- right completely. They both don't impress me at all and I'll never say sorry for their accusations which 99.9% of the comes from the left-wing .I'm an American libertarian and I believe in preservation's of culture and race (if a person chooses to), patriotism, liberty, individual choice, free markets, and less government in all our lives at the expense of nobody unlike the left-wing and right-wing. Communism/Marxism/Socialism and Nazism isn't the answer and I'm really sick of these ideologies thinking they know best when in reality they are both totalitarian maniacs out to enslave and or destroy one or another over our individual liberty's and choices.

BBM: What do you think of politics in Oi! music?

EW: I think politics are perfectly acceptable because I'm a firm believer in liberty, political theory, and reason, however anybody that focuses their parties or personal beliefs around "race" like the Communist and Nazis do should keep their politics to themselves at the events because most people are not interested in their attempts at utopian delusions and/or genocide that both parties take part in. Wellington Arms does not have time for anti-racists or racists so they should save it for their events and political rallies. We present music that best suits working class values and street culture from our own perspective -not theirs.

BBM: What is your main aim when writing music?

EW: Ha, to make the best track ever that i can relate to haha! Every song I write about is 100% about my life, friends and supporters. Go figure.

BBM: What's your favourite song you've ever written and why?

EW: That would have to be "International lover" for sure because it wraps up the loves triangles that are going on in Europe in perfect form. Europe -GETS IT IN!!! Haha.

BBM: Who is your favourite vocalist of all time?

EW: I have a few to be honest. Paul Di’Anno, Ken McLellan, Wayne Barrett, Ian Stuart, Suggs, Buster Blood Vessel, Gene October, Judge Dread, and Todd Hembroke.

BBM: What would you like to say to the world on behalf of Wellington Arms?

EW: Well a few things actually! First off I hope the full length album that is in the works sits well with you and ya invite us out to your cities and countries for a good party and gig. Second: "The young don't die till there's life no more".  Salute! Cheers!

Eric Wellington, thanks for talking to Ball Breakers Media!

Lady GaGa: The Meat Monster

There are so many reasons to dislike this specimen that it’s difficult to know where to begin and so I find myself apologising for the cliché I have used to introduce this particular polemic. Whether it’s her badly written (and delivered, by the way) attempts at socio- political critiques on the gay rights front or the oxymoronic manner in which she claims to hate money whilst using her revenues to produce ostentatious displays of ambiguous pomposity that purport to have a deeper meaning than the banal and vague statements she issues from her pretentious pulpit, there are many reasons not to go Gaga over this Lady.

                The first thing to point out when revealing just how laughable this woman’s posturing really is, is that we’ve seen people doing this sort of thing before and a lot better at that. David Bowie, undoubtedly and influence on Gaga, underwent many identity changes and flirted with androgyny from the off- his aesthetic innovations combined with iconic chart successes helped to establish a new movement in Pop music known as Glam Rock. Marilyn Manson, whilst not to my taste, shocked audiences worldwide with his fascistic imagery and not only flirted with but shagged androgyny with a strap on until it hurt before offering explanations that were (to many) surprisingly coherent and intriguing. Lady Gaga, on the other dildo, is the latest in a long line of imitators of the shock tactic but has not the decency to add any youthful spine to this dinosaur and instead offers sensationalist one liners that sound like white noise to anybody within ear shot. No real or justifiable explanation is ever offered for her outrageous imagery and it seems like this is a case of style over substance which (judging by her chart success) is obviously enough to satisfy the masses, but not me.

                The thing that really sickens me about this monstrosity is the fact that she expects her audience’s jaw to hit the floor with a resounding thud when she does something as fundamentally un- shocking as dressing up as a member of the opposite sex...  at the VMA awards show in America. For the benefit of the reader, I live in a town called Bolton- a small minded town known best for eating pigs’ feet, a shit football team and a man stupid enough to risk his marriage by texting a page 3 model asking to see a picture of her tits, and even here whilst I see those around me being reluctantly nudged closer to cosmopolitan decency would a woman dressed as a man or vice versa cause little stir. Imagine then, the effect on a contingent of music industry successes who have seen it all before... I am confident that you comprehend my meaning.

                See, it’s the un-shocking nature of wannabe shockers that makes me cringe right down to my testicles, and I’m afraid that if this particular agent of controversy doesn’t shut the fuck up soon I may die of embarrassment. In the mean time I shall have to ignore her to annoy her (present article excepted), in the hope that one day she will realise the genuinely negative effect (if any at all) she has had on political progress by trivialising it as part of her deranged circus act.  

                Just in case for, whatever reason, you are not yet convinced of the pathetic and revolting nature of this woman’s music, consider for a moment the following. She, for all of her screaming, shouting, flapping and frogs heads has little, if anything, useful to actually say. I challenge you to deconstruct some of her songs- research her most controversial titles and see if there’s anything tangible that can be applied to mainstream society or the conservative right wing she so despises. Perhaps try and decipher the powerful and intelligent implications of the song “Judas”? When you have failed to do so you shall reach the same conclusion I have; that her displays are adolescent in nature and clichéd in execution, while her music is not in any manner innovative or particularly distinctive (other than that incessant “ra-ra” noise she makes which sounds more like a cricket being subjected to the electric chair than anything)and her flirtations with headline grabbing topics for discussion are skin deep. The sad thing is that she’ll probably be revered as some sort of outrageous icon in 20 or so years. Pathetic. 

Michael Buble: Satisfying Housewives Everywhere!

I’m always incredibly suspicious about anything that the majority are fond of, particularly in the music and entertainment industry as to find so many followers in such a diverse demographic as is present on planet Earth, one must consider that the root of said phenomenon’s success is some sort of pandering to either a lowest common denominator or an “inoffensive” mediocrity that is ultimately of no useful consequence.

 If this suspicion is confirmed, I can begin to move on to the tangible defects of the subject matter that provoke my deepest senses of credulity. Michael Buble is a strong example; everyone likes Michael- he’s always happy- totally harmless and a swell talent to boot! He’s the kind of guy your grandma wants you to bring home, ladies. Isn’t he just darling? As though to spaff on my face with self satisfaction, and on top of this grotesque cleanliness, the man seems to offer nothing groundbreaking musically, but rather a reminder of revolution gone by, a sort of OAP and housewife friendly version of truly inspirational music. This is before we have even dealt with his grimace worthy god awful musical holocausts that constitute his original material which he promotes with sickening videos of himself looking disgracefully shiny and well rested. The fucker.

To reference, for a moment, the great Jello Biafra; there’s something I don’t like about a man that always smiles. It’s a sign of either severe smugness, fakery, mindlessness or all fucking three. Proudly flying the flag for middle of the road comfortablity is this derivative douche bag. A poor man’s Harry Connick Jr, it seems that Buble is forever reminding us of just how content he is. Whether it’s clicking and winking down a corridor whilst staring down an ITV2 camera lens or releasing a diabolical- nay pure evil collection of Holiday cheer, I find myself unable to forgive this particular smooth talker for the nauseating displays he subjects me to.

At this point I am sure the reader is daring to question me, asking “why are you so familiar with this singer? Why do you watch or listen to Michael Buble if you hate him so much? Why don’t you just turn the television off whenever he’s on and avoid buying his music?” Alas, my dear friends, this lovable pioneer of the winning smile has a reach far deeper than you seem to comprehend.

Picture the scene; it’s Christmas day- the turkey’s in the oven, I have a lager to hand, and I’m happily strolling through my immaculate kitchen singing my favourite Pink Panzer track to myself when all of a sudden my mother feels it appropriate to propose the tortuous ordeal of listening to a collection of Christmas songs to the house. I smile. I love my mother. It’s Christmas and you know what? Even though I hate this holiday, the religion it upholds, and the compulsory merriment its soundtrack enforces, I forgive her her transgressions and let her- let her- put her favourite Christmas album on as my siblings beam with enthusiasm. Ten seconds later and I notice there’s something different about this version of “White Christmas” and before I can identify the source of the pain that is coursing through my body, I become aware of the fact that I want to annihilate everything and everyone that is near me. I pick up the sharpest object I can find and proceed to butcher my entire family- unable to stop myself and without remorse. It’s their fault. They wanted this tripe on. Shortly afterwards I shall realise that it was I, in my benevolence, who allowed this action and turn the knife on myself.

 Mr. Buble, if you’re out there, please take a moment to consider the consequences of your banal pandering to mediocrity and complacency and upon doing so stop subjecting us to what is frankly the musical equivalent of Top fucking Gun. If I wanted cheese, I’d go to the fridge, not a fucking record shop. Furthermore, if you continue to subject me to the injustice that is your existence I fear that I will be forced to take action. I’m sure you don’t want me to cut my own ears off with a blunt hacksaw, you seem far too nice for that...

THE MACC LADS "Pie Taster" Review

This is probably the weakest release I’ve heard from The Macc Lads and it’s fucking disgusting to diminish what appeal was left in the first place!

Within the first minute we’re subjected to the notion of “bell end cheddar” and introduced to a woman who can “fart for Lancashire” which is wholly disturbing as are the stretch marks we are told are on her arse. “Pie Taster” then ventures into hard rock territory with a twiddly solo that would wreck everything if it wasn’t for the aforementioned lyrical genius and mob handed choral chants stomping alongside thumping drums.

“No Sheep ‘Til Buxton” is, as you’ve probably predicted, a tale of beastiality whose detail is beyond frightening- particularly when lead singer Mutley feels it appropriate to tell us about the sheep shit on some unfortunate’s foreskin. Cheers for that, fella.

Just to round things off nicely, the last track is a live version of “Dan’s Underpants” which is a slow ballad about “gut- rot” and “Bombay Duck”. If this sounds like your cup of tea; get some fucking help.

THE MACC LADS "Beer & Sex & Chips n' Gravy" Review

“Beer & Sex & Chips n' Gravy” is one of the finest collections of Punk Rock hilarity I have ever heard and after listening I guarantee you’ll be joining fellow enthusiasts in the dirtiest pub in town with only your flat cap for protection against the fleas that constitute the regular clientele.

Opener “Buenos Aires” is a horrendously bigoted pro- British Forces song that, after establishing that the residents of Buenos Aires are “bluddy fairies” with “greasy hair and sweaty bums”, asserts the Argentines will lose the Falklands conflict against the English Navy and furthermore ask for the recipe for Chips and Gravy (which is, along with Boddingtons beer, the guarantor of the Army’s success). Another classic we are treated to is the ale- fuelled anthem “Boddies” which reminds us that the cornerstone of manhood is resisting lager, shampoo and indulging in Boddingtons as often as possible lest we remain fucking puffs/cunts.

 No release from The Macc Lads would be complete without a good old dose of misogyny and it’s definitely delivered in “Do You Love Me?” - the response to this question (asked of course by the inferior shag bucket whose meat apparently smells) is “I fuck you don’t I?!” If that wasn’t enough for you you can skip straight ahead to “Miss Macclesfield” which places half of the human race firmly in the fucking kitchen.

“Twenty Pints” is “Boddies” revisited and makes use of the same subject matter and celebrates the Lads’ weekly mandatory 20 pints of ale. The only vaguely uncomfortable moments on this album as far as common decency goes are those rooted in homophobia- purely because it’s unclear as to whether or not this is actually for comic effect (if it is then the humour seems at best misplaced and at worst arbitrary prejudice) whereas sexism and bigotry, however vulgar and repellent, are at least not primarily pre- occupied with the prejudices therein. These lads definitely aren’t to be taken seriously, and provided you don’t do that, it becomes irrelevant whether their homophobia is sincere- make of it what you will and listen to what you like.

THE MACC LADS "Eh Up! Macc Lads" Review

Where can we start with Macclesfield’s finest? Perhaps in the trail of semen, degraded women and homosexuals that they’ve shat out behind them? For now, it’s this particular 12 Inch that’s grabbed my attention- in fact it has it by the balls and won’t let the fuckers go!

Opening this diabolical assortment of STI- infested songs is their take on The Monkees iconic “Hey Hey We’re The Monkees!” and is probably the most inappropriate cover of a manufactured child friendly band that could ever be conceived of. Replacing the classic chorus with “Eh Up we’re the Macc Lads, we’re not fucking queer, we like pullin’ fit crack and suppin’ lots of beer” is corrupt enough, but there is worse to come, children...

 “I love Macc” is a fairly harmless affectionate pat on the back to the Lads’ hometown that praises the availability of superior take- aways and public houses- not to mention the wonderful assortment of beautiful females it is home to. This is followed by “Made Of Ale”, which is the “worse” that has now come: The introductory lyrics reveal that the central protagonist has semen on her chest and more come (or Morecambe- they’re good with puns like that) on her side whilst heading down the M-65. Once it is established that this woman is not only promiscuous but incapable of making a cup of tea, ugly as a pig, cannot cook, and a “stuck up cunt” The Macc Lads undo any compliments towards the gentler sex established in the previous track by asserting that she’s probably from Macclesfield.

 The closing track is nothing short of social observational genius, summarising the male population of the North West’s primary concerns: Beer and sex and chips and gravy. Not only is this profound, but the song is sung (like most releases by The Macc Lads) complete with Lancastrian assertions that encourage us to treat women like toilets. Philosophy. 

TERMINUS CITY "Stand As One" Review

Terminus City’s contribution to the “Stand As One” split with No Holds Barred is probably the weaker half of the album. Their sound isn’t as direct or powerful as No Holds Barred, but their brand of Street Punk is still very engaging and interesting. “Set Me Free” is without a doubt the strongest track on this work and combines the classic shouts of “Hey” that made every Punk band from The Ramones to Fear so accessible with a clarity made plain in their simple lyrics which are expressed through the utilisation of liberating melodies that elevate the song to lofty heights.

Sadly, it’s pretty much all downhill from there and we are instead offered up filler tracks such as “Kids In America” and “Too Stupid” which have neither the charm or delivery of “Set Me Free”. I’d recommend this album for the No Holds Barred half and Terminus City’s opening song, but sadly there isn’t much else from the latter to speak of. That is of course until we hear the last track contributed by Terminus City which saves the day with a tale of working class strife in “Glass Tower”. This last song is a touching account of the struggle of working men and their families juxtaposed with the millionaires they serve and the lyric “So you make yourself a million while I try to raise my children” is nothing short of anti- establishment genius. It isn’t often that we hear such a cogent and coherent statement from a Rock n’ Roll band and now that we have, it’s worth celebrating. 

NO HOLDS BARRED "Stand As One" Review

I first discovered No Holds Barred when I saw Bill McFadden of The Beltones wearing one of their t- shirts in the inlay of “Cheap Trinkets”. My flawless logic dictated that if he, front man with my favourite band in the world, liked them then so would I. Unsurprisingly, I was correct and “Stand As One” remains a staple feature of my Oi! collection.

Despite generally disliking anything that promotes the notion of unity as intrinsically virtuous, opener “Stand As One” is ridiculously attractive. Resistance is futile in the face of galloping bass lines, a devastating pincer- movement of guitars and drums and to top it off the classic hooligan melodies that have characterised the best of the movement since its inception. No Holds Barred are relentlessly confrontational and simplistic in their approach to song writing and their charm lies in the impression they give of themselves as a less damaged and more optimistic pioneers of a Bonecrusher- like sound. This is not to discredit Bonecrusher (one of my favourite bands to date), but rather to say that No Holds Barred sound somewhat like a lighter yet just as devastating approach to American Street Punk.

I sometimes hate writing about albums like because there’s literally nothing to write punchy put downs about! Along with “Stand As One”, every other track on this album is nothing short of blinding. This is a thoroughly fantastic stab in the ribs of the Punk Rock scene and if you haven’t experienced No Holds Barred yet, make the obtaining of this album your prime directive.

THE 4- SKINS "A Few 4- Skins More- Volume 2 (From Chaos To 1984/Rarities)" Album Review!

Whilst this collection is a fairly good place to start if you want a comprehensive over view of The 4- Skins’ career, and features an entire live set along with some blinding demos, it is in part ruined by the fact that the live recording features vocalist Roi Pearce and not the mighty Skinhead powerhouse that was Gary Hodges. Yes, this is by definition better than most of the shit Pearce peddled with The Last Resort, but it’s still not quite up to scratch. The band sound somehow slower, looser and of course we have to tolerate Millwall’s finest giving it the big ‘un in between songs and singing with what is essentially substandard, shoddy delivery. This really could have been a great addition to this collection but blending the genius of The 4- Skins with the worst elements of The Last Resort could only ever end badly and serve to render Hoxton Tom and co. sounding like a pit bull that’s lost his bite.  

However, all is not lost, as we are treated to some Hodges- era demos that boast both eloquence and brutality. “Clockwork Skinhead” is a brilliant criticism of trendy dress- up Skinheads of every kind and really kicks the mindlessness of certain Skinhead factions into touch. “Evil” is brilliantly violent, and “ACAB” sounds just as low- budget antagonism should. Another highlight of this collection is “Bread Or Blood” featuring vocalist Panther (who is incredibly underrated and over shadowed in the band’s history), and before the close we are offered the hilarious experience of a The 4- Skins cover of Slade’s “Merry Xmas Everybody” which is both ridiculous and touching.

Due to the inferiority of the live section, this can’t be credited as a collection of The 4- Skins finest work, but it’s a nice place to start and some of the demos on here shit on the final cuts featured on Oi! compilations of later years from a great height. 

THE BRUISERS "Independence Day" EP Review

The Bruisers have always maintained a peculiarity about their sound that secures their legendary reputation and their ability to stand apart from a sea of shaven heads. “Independence Day” is one of my personal favourites because it combines the primitive musical brutality that all Skinheads love with lyrics sung (producing the rock n’ roll edge that characterises this band’s brand of Oi!) or shouted and concerned with the stock bovver boy preoccupations of boots, braces and pride. There is, too, a nod to the heritage of this more modern scene that is The Bruisers’ cover of Blitz’s “Nation On Fire” which is true to the original but with a good old Boston boot up the arse for good measure.

“We Will Survive” is probably the most ferocious song on the album and a sure dance floor filler at any Dr. Marten appreciation society. It is anthemic in content and execution and the brutal accessibility of the lyrics “Oi! Oi! Oi! We’re Skinheads, Oi! Oi! Oi! We kick fucking heads” make for an instant classic.

There isn’t a bad track on this EP and “Never Fall” also provides a refreshing insight into the everyday activities of a working class Skin set to a sing- a- long melody whilst “My Pride” has a resilience about it that cannot fail to charm. It’s easy to see why this band became such icons to their later Boston counter parts, why bands like Blood For Blood pay them such vehement homage on record and thrilling to hear a band who carved out their own place in the history of Oi! music as opposed to creating ploddy, boring background bootboy music like so many others.

SHAM 69 "Who Killed Joe Public" Album Review!

Sham 69 are an odd phenomenon of the Punk Rock world; forever celebrated and credited by the Skinhead community, I often found myself partly disappointed when listening to full length albums as opposed to compilations. The nice thing about “Who Killed Joe Public” is that component instrumental in ensuring this disappointment has been irreversibly removed- namely the lyrics and vision of Jimmy fucking Pursey. It’s nice to hear Sham get back to doing what they do best, writing Street- Punk tracks away from the lime light and without a singer who presents himself as some sort of hideous street- urchin- come- messiah.

 Tim V’s vocals are pretty far removed from Pursey’s; less a bark and more a melodic soar, he’s not the most accomplished singer but pretty fucking perfect for this sort of band. Opener “Shout” is how, if I had my way, Sham 69 would have sounded from the fucking start (allowing for the necessary iconic tracks of the band’s history) and is up there with the finest material ever composed in the group’s entire history. Other highlights include yuppie- punching “Vengeance”, generation X- Factor basher “Who Killed Joe Public?” and the Rock n’ Roll attraction of “Little Lady” all of which are pungent with successful pop sensibility backed with the punch of Punk.

Like almost every other Sham release, however, this is a mixed bag. Some of the lyrics frankly just aren’t up to scratch and on first listen “Skin & Bone” is a particular cringe- fest, whilst “The Last Gang In London” is nothing short of a masturbatory effort at reggae.

If you always liked Sham 69 but waited for the day they ditched that baggy jeans wearing skeletal whinging twat of a vocalist who had a penchant for presenting himself as a demi- god of the Skinhead scene and in his own pomposity shat Sham in a world of god awful electronic infused hard- rock, grab this album sharpish. Largely, it’s a fucking great record- a few lows- and on occasion thin on mind- blowing lyrics- but then what did you expect? It’s not fucking Wordsworth and it hands down beats most of the drivel produced by the survivors of the early punk years nowadays. Impressive, too, is how eloquently Tim V places his finger on the pulse of what it’s like to be an outsider in Britain today. It’s good to hear Sham 69 with the street- cred Pursey could never whip up. Nice one, lads.

TATTOOED MOTHER FUCKERS "Sex, Thugs and Rock n' Roll" Album Review!

I never expected lyrical genius from an incoherent fascist who was in the neo- Nazi goon squad English Rose, and it’s just as well because “Sex, Thugs and Rock n’ Roll” is in places generic, others boring and occasionally laughable. Whether it’s the open condemnation of “drugs” followed by a direct endorsement of drinking alcohol (“Sex, Thugs and Rock n’ Roll”) or the hilarity of lead singer and professional bigot Steve Jones singing “I hate the ignorant, I hate the blind” (“Driven by hatred”)  there really is an abundance of idiocy from which to choose.

In short, if you’re expecting groundbreaking poetry, I’m warning you here and now you shall find yourself disappointed. Having said this, the music isn’t half bad. In fact, the distorted cacophony that makes itself heard in this new brand of “Thug Rock” is pretty irresistible and (I’d imagine) a cracking soundtrack to kick the shit out of pretty much anything. There is too a certain charm to the stand- alone- fuck- everything-sound that TMF have created and I’ve heard little like it before.

 The album has a similar sound throughout and feels like one long rant punctuated by raucous bar room brawls and an appreciation for the only thing this bunch of miscreants seem to love- Jagermeister! The most solid and irresistible of the songs are without a doubt “Welcome To The Pack” and “Driven By Hatred”. Tracks to avoid include “The Jagermeister Song” (featuring the Oi! no-no of imitating a fucking cockney accent in the spoken dialogue introducing the song) and the anti climax that is “Last Train To Chaos”.

If you like the sound of Skinheads with a rocket up their arse and hatred in their heart who express themselves through chunky riffs that sound like they were written from the pavement outside a pub face down in a pool of blood then this band is who you want to listen to. They sound like a Skinhead apocalypse and the lack of imagination behind the lyrics doesn’t take away from the excitement too much once you get used to it. Thing is, you don’t need eloquence when you want to sound like bovver incarnated, but on a social and criminal commentary like “Scum” the stupidity really shows. Good effort, but more of a grower than a shower... and thank fuck it’s apolitical and completely separate from Combat 18’s panzy machine...

PERKELE "No Shame" Album Review!

If you like music that kicks you in the bollocks with a pair of ten hole cherry reds and proceeds to serenade your reeling brain with masterful skinhead proficiency then Sweden’s Perkele are for you. If anybody was in doubt as to the strength and durability of the Oi! scene, these Blue and Yellow devils smash this misconception to pieces from opening track “Here To Stay” which re-acquaints the listener with the clean cut guitars, tight drumming, gallant bass lines and roar-a-long choruses that have made the Skinhead wing of Oi! so irresistible across the globe.

 "No Shame" is less an ushering in of this particular outfit’s sound and more an expulsion of bile from the mouth onto the face of the listener; this racket is a calculated and instructed assault of militaristic proportions. Probably the most famous and celebrated track off this no- bullshit blues explosion is “Heart Full Of Pride” (which has since been covered by the Darlington Street Punk band, Gimp Fist) and, truth be told, it’s hard to not well up when listening to the lyrics “I’ve got a flame in my heart that never dies, I’ve got a heart full of pride” soar uncharted altitudes. It’s enough to make the scruffiest Iron Maiden enthusiast shave his head and polish a pair of Docs before strolling down the road to stomp the floor out of the nearest pub.

Other prominent songs are found in the form of “Liar”, “A Song For You” and “Voice of Anger”. Perkele on “No Shame” have done the unthinkable and homogenised each and every of the finest components that make up the worldwide Oi! scene and to top it off, they can actually fucking play their instruments.