Where can we start with Macclesfield’s finest? Perhaps in the trail of semen, degraded women and homosexuals that they’ve shat out behind them? For now, it’s this particular 12 Inch that’s grabbed my attention- in fact it has it by the balls and won’t let the fuckers go!
Opening this diabolical assortment of STI- infested songs is their take on The Monkees iconic “Hey Hey We’re The Monkees!” and is probably the most inappropriate cover of a manufactured child friendly band that could ever be conceived of. Replacing the classic chorus with “Eh Up we’re the Macc Lads, we’re not fucking queer, we like pullin’ fit crack and suppin’ lots of beer” is corrupt enough, but there is worse to come, children...
“I love Macc” is a fairly harmless affectionate pat on the back to the Lads’ hometown that praises the availability of superior take- aways and public houses- not to mention the wonderful assortment of beautiful females it is home to. This is followed by “Made Of Ale”, which is the “worse” that has now come: The introductory lyrics reveal that the central protagonist has semen on her chest and more come (or Morecambe- they’re good with puns like that) on her side whilst heading down the M-65. Once it is established that this woman is not only promiscuous but incapable of making a cup of tea, ugly as a pig, cannot cook, and a “stuck up cunt” The Macc Lads undo any compliments towards the gentler sex established in the previous track by asserting that she’s probably from Macclesfield.
The closing track is nothing short of social observational genius, summarising the male population of the North West’s primary concerns: Beer and sex and chips and gravy. Not only is this profound, but the song is sung (like most releases by The Macc Lads) complete with Lancastrian assertions that encourage us to treat women like toilets. Philosophy.
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